Almost three months into 2025,(when I am drafting this) and looking back, 2024 felt like the calm after the storm. It was the year I finally breathed a sigh of relief, even with its difficult days. This was the sanest year I’ve had in the past three years since my diagnosis.

Much of the year was spent reflecting on myself—finally understanding the depth of trauma my body and mind endured. PTSD became more manageable, and I faced the suppressed fears that had resurfaced from my diagnosis.

On the bright side, a major win this year: not getting a single cannula injected into my veins! That’s an accomplishment worth celebrating.

This year felt both like a marathon and a sprint. While I rejoiced in small victories, there were days when just showing up felt like my biggest achievement.

Key Milestones

Reconnecting with My Creative Side

After what felt like forever, I reconnected with my hobbies. I explored different art forms and finally learned watercolor painting—properly!

As someone who always stuck to sketching and charcoal, I used to dislike colors, but this year, I embraced them. Painting and clay molding became therapeutic, helping me regain focus, something chemo brain had made difficult.

Reading remained a challenge—I struggled to finish even two pages at a time since chemo. But art helped me process my emotions better. Chemo brain is no joke; it’s very real and frustrating.

Dancing and making art have been a part of me since I was a child. But after my diagnosis, I was in survival mode, unable to focus on the things that once made me feel alive. This year, rediscovering them reminded me of who I am.

Although I still have a long way to go before I can dance again, I’m working on regaining strength.

Self-Love for Real

A major milestone: NOT GETTING A SINGLE CANNULA IN 2024!

This year was kinder to me. Other than some coughing, chest congestion, and stomach issues, I didn’t need hospital visits, and for that, I’m truly grateful. Plus, I celebrated my 3rd Cancer-versary—I deserved this rest.

I also made an important realization: I can finally say I love myself again—physically.

Self-love is often talked about in terms of inner acceptance, but I believe loving your physical self is just as crucial. Post-BMT, my appearance changed drastically—I didn’t recognize myself. It was heartbreaking, and I struggled to accept my reflection.

I started dressing up and experimenting with fashion, hoping to feel confident again. I revamped my wardrobe to suit my post-cancer body and focused on skincare.

At first, I was just convincing myself I looked good, but over time, my skin actually began to heal. The color returned, and now, I genuinely feel beautiful. No more pretending. It’s still a work in progress, but I know I’ll look even better than before cancer.

Recovery often feels like losing touch with who you were, but every step forward reminds me of my resilience. Manifestation is real—not in a wishful way, but in actively working toward change.

You have to put in the work, girl!

Acknowledging Challenges

This year, the suppressed fears and pain from my BMT treatment resurfaced. I still struggle with PTSD, especially when it comes to needles. I can’t stand the thought of my body going through any kind of pain. Even stepping outside makes me anxious about catching infections.

But I realized that my strength lies in acceptance. I don’t dwell on things I can’t control; instead, I focus on how to handle them with optimism. Journaling has been a huge help—some things are hard to talk about, but writing them down provides an outlet. It brings clarity and prevents me from spiraling.

2024 wasn’t without its storms. Some days, the weight of my health challenges felt unbearable. But every hardship taught me resilience. Growth often comes from discomfort and uncertainty.

Gratitude & People

I wouldn’t have made it through this year without my incredible support system. My mom, my family, and my close friends have been my pillars of strength. Their love and kindness carried me through the toughest days.

I also socialized more this year! Not with new people yet—that might take time—but I went out for dinners, attended celebrations, and spent time with my loved ones. It felt new, refreshing, and healing—like touching grass.

Looking Ahead to 2025

In 2025, I hope to keep chasing my dreams, embracing my creative passions, and sharing my story with those who need it. I also want to be more consistent with posting here hehe which I evidently being unable to do so since the past 2 years. huh…

Closing Thoughts…

2024 taught me that progress isn’t about speed—it’s about showing up for myself, even on the slow days. Some steps felt small, some felt like leaps, but every single one mattered. This year, I’m stepping into the unknown with open arms, making space for joy, growth, and moments that truly count.

Here’s to a year of possibilities, joy, and living fully in every moment.